Death of the Clichés
by theqwerty
Summary: Read and watch favorite fanfiction plotlines go down the drain


Death of the Clichés

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and never will.

A/N: This story was written in celebration of me opening a fanfiction account. Enjoy the story and remember to review!

The Final Battle was over. Harry had killed Voldemort and gone from being the Boy-Who-Lived to the Boy-Who-Had-Triumphantly-Defended-The-Light-And-Killed-You-Know-Who. After the Battle, the first thing he had done was kiss Ginny. Then he proposed to her. They were so caught up in each other that Ginny screamed in shock when Harry passed out in her arms from blood loss. He was hurried to the infirmary where Madam Pomfrey made it her biggest priority to keep him in her evil, sterile environment to recover fully. She didn't want Rita Skeeter writing something bad about her because she didn't treat the Boy-Who-Had-Triumphantly-Defended-The-Light-And-Killed-You-Know-Who right.

Speaking of Rita Skeeter, she was working furiously on an article all about the Final Battle. _Harry Potter triumphantly defends the light and kills You-Know-Who at a gigantic battle at Hogwarts with all the pure love in his heart_, she thought, _Wait, that doesn't sound right – Harry couldn't have been in love with You-Know-Who…But what if he was? That would make a brilliant headline, a sure best seller, I can just see it: Harry Potter's Secret Love: You-Know-Who_.

Minerva McGonagall, the Headmistress of Hogwarts declared a "no classes week," resigned, and moved to the tropics where she could mourn her beloved Albus' death in solitude. Flitwick became the new Headmaster. The first thing he did was order a new chair to sit in while at the Head table in the Great Hall.

All the Houses had parties except for Slytherin. Over half of their students were killed in the Final Battle. Of the others, most were in Ministry Holding Cells. The two students who had not been affiliated with the Dark Lord played chess and wandered around the dungeons, celebrating the lack of a Head of House by breaking curfew. Gryffindor's party was, by far, the rowdiest and most festive of the three. The twins had come back to the school in September to sell their products, defend the school, and finish NEWTS in that order of priority. They had snuck out to Hogsmeade and taken advantage of the celebratory free drinks being served at all pubs. The Gryffindor students had then descended upon the duo with a loud roar of victory and shouts of approval.

The only two Gryffindors who were not at the party were Harry and Ginny. Harry was still in the infirmary and Ginny was holding a vigil by his side. Harry woke up the next day and kissed Ginny. That day the Minister of Magic came with really good news.

"We found Sirius Black!" he said, "He was just lying in front of the Veil in the Department of Ministries!" Sirius was in good health and all the years in Azkaban had suddenly ceased to lie on his shoulders. He claimed he had some _really_ important news he needed to tell Harry. They met up at Grimmauld Place.

"I'm really sorry I couldn't tell you this before," Sirius told Harry, "but your parents are still alive. When they heard the prophecy, Dumbledore and them agreed to have two polyjuiced order members pose as your parents. They are still alive and they came over from America yesterday to meet you."

"They're alive?" Harry questioned in disbelief, his eyes shining with hope at a life with his family, "When do I get to meet them?"

"Let's go outside," Sirius said, "They're at the park across the street." The duo walked outside. Harry caught a glimpse of red hair across the street; his breath caught and he froze in place. His parents turned towards them and ran towards Harry in their excitement to see their only child.

A car honked and they froze, like deer in front of headlights, and it ran them over.

Harry stared at the bloody carnage in front of him and slowly started to weep for the life he had never known and never would know with his parents. He would never have fond memories of eating breakfast with them, talking about his adventures at Hogwarts, and never, ever, hear them tell him to look both ways before crossing the street.

Cough _review_ Cough


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